I had to come and tell you, my blogging friends, that I am absolutely heartbroken, my beloved Siamese cat, Charlie, had to be put to sleep on Monday.
The vet said he was very very poorly and had we have left him any longer he would have started to have convulsions, his kidneys were very enlarged.
He was getting on in years, he would have been sixteen this coming May, I realised that he must be nearing the end of his life, sixteens a good age for a cat I know, he couldn't have gone on forever I know that, but that didn't make it any easier.
He was beautiful, my 'baby', I adored him, we gave him so much love, all the family loved him so much, but he was definitely 'my baby'.
Those of you that know about Siamese know how vocal they are, he talked to us constantly, he always had something to say, even when I'd be talking on the phone he'd join in, every night when I watched the telly he'd come on my knee and I'd nurse him like a baby, he loved it.
The house is so empty and quiet without him, I've cried buckets, I just can't seem to stop, I'll be OK one minute and then something makes me think of him and I'm off again, he's left such a big empty space.
I feel so very, very sad.
We are having him cremated and his ashes put into a little casket, he will be with us always that way, I couldn't bear the thought of him being buried in a hole in the garden, and not only that, but if we ever move from this house, I know we can take him with us.
I guess you may think I'm bonkers, but he was a big part of my life, I adored him.
I hope you don't mind me telling you all, it's helped a little to talk about him.